I grew up neglected. Mom and I moved a lot, constantly living in new apartments with new men. One of my earliest memories was being terrified to go home because of the way my mother’s “newest” boyfriend was treating us. I remember them fighting violently and loudly. I lived in a constant state of terror. I would hide in the back of my closet, waiting for him to come for me, which he always did. I would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of mice squeaking and scratching inside the walls. It smelled horrible and I was always afraid. My mom would nod off in the chair, and when I couldn’t wake her, I would be so afraid that I would curl up and sleep on the floor at her feet. She would wake up screaming at me when she tripped over my small body. The molestation continued, from my grandfather and from men my mother brought home. When I was 19, I met Nate. He was extremely aggressive and abusive. He threatened to kill me, my son, and my family if I ever left him. He would tell me how worthless I was, that no one would ever love me. He would choke me. Beat me. Hurt me. I wanted to die with every fiber of my being. This lasted for over a year. Not long after I escaped, I found meth would numb the pain and lies in my head. I became even more promiscuous. I believed sex was all men wanted. When I became pregnant with my daughter I used drugs until I was 8 months along. When she was born, I abandoned her, just like I did my son. I was so afraid that I would destroy them and that I would never get clean. In my darkest hour, I cried out to God and He intervened in my life. Through a miracle, He led me to an 18-month recovery program, which then led me to Christ Kitchen. I have never in my life felt so loved and supported. The women are caring, completely accepting, and they model the unconditional love of Christ. I found the love that I had so desperately wanted in my childhood. There, I re-committed my life to Jesus. I know the truth of who I am now. I am redeemed, cherished, and I have a purpose! I now have full custody of my daughter, and visitation with my son. I am a mentor and leader for SAVANON, a ministry for sexually abused women. I have a lovely home, a nice car and I have graduated from Christ Kitchen into full-time employment with benefits and retirement! I would have never thought this would be possible for me. I have done so well in my current position, that I am now in management training. I thank God for leading me to Christ Kitchen, where my entire life changed. I am a living, breathing, walking miracle!
